Alexandria's Healer's Journey
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Alexandria's Healer's Journey ~
I never could have guessed life would lead me here, this soft emanation of gentle acceptance, basking in the simple pleasures that go unnoticed by so many. I understand the pull of stimulation and the urge to belong; I’ve worn many masks and adopted many ideas about the person I ought to be. I’ve felt for a long time that I was running towards something important, until I realized I was actually running away from the real me. The physical symptoms showed up as chronic fatigue and autoimmune dis-ease, OCD and disassociation as mental health conditions, and emotional suppression expressing as insensitivity, or at times emotional exaggeration. My whole life felt like I was the star role in someone else’s play, giving my power away unconsciously to systems and external authorities. But the thing about writing the part of the disempowered victim is the slipperiness of the slope. The viscous repetitive nature of the cycle. I cast myself inside a cage where the only way out was in.
I stopped walking the path of my father the day I left corporate advertising. I thought that to be loved by him was to be like him, but the life of traditional business wasn’t mine to lead. I traded in business slacks for yoga pants and the former gymnast turned yogi.
My mother’s path was mine next to walk and it took me into the depths of despair. Her path is of the ancestors, and we walked for many years as cycle-breakers, cleansing, healing, grieving and forgiving the lost opportunities of so many that came before. Starring in another’s role runs deep within my lineage, as women we were made small by the patriarchy. As shamans, healers, witches, and seers, our gifts were never accepted—countless awakened souls burned and tortured under man’s law.
Walking my mother’s path was meant to teach me compassion and yielding personal power to Divine Will. The potency of healership that blazes through my bones had to wait until humility no longer registered as weakness or I lost myself in victim consciousness. The hurts of the past and the rage from our ancestors, had to be brought to kneel and the source of Power that aches in my giving heart had to break me open and awaken the Illumined Soul.
Traveling to Central and South America and living nomadically across the western United States began my healer’s journey of integrating all parts and all paths into one living and breathing whole. I met soul family and gained perspectives that varied from my birthing home. The growing Illumined Light of Soul brought to surface all matter of opinions—adopted survival strategies lodged within my human organism that grew more uncomfortable the longer I carried them.
Looking back from today, I can see my chosen path unmistakably. I learned devotion from my father and forgiveness from my mother, and my path is the Healer’s Way. Every pain, every sorrow, every misunderstanding serves as training grounds for the cultivation of soul embodied leadership. I am an experiential way-shower in Soul Consciousness because life circumstance has given me the experience to find my own way.
When anxiety flares I lean into trust. When overwhelm kicks in I breathe into my belly. When I feel confused, uncertain, and riddled with fear responses, I soften into my heart and go on a mindful walk. My body is not the enemy and neither are my feelings. Life brings me to my edge and reminds me of the tools I’ve spent years cultivating. Because of what I have healed through I can now lead others through; that is The Healer’s Way.
My attempts at birthing a new identity too soon has brought me to my knees more times than I care to remember. Try to stand still when the fire of justice burns bright within. But within I was tasked with going and growing and tending to the soft pulsation of Soul. So delicate and yet unimaginably strong. Guidance said wait still a bit longer, your time has yet to come. So as the devoted hermit does and like the bear crawling inside for winter hibernation, I leaned into trust and I learned to rest.
From these fertile winter grounds has emerged Rested Roots Rising; birthed on the Aries New Moon 2025. May these words and may my actions serve as inspiration and guidance for all Soul’s prepping or presently walking their healer’s journey. May my presence serve as an example frequency of the soft medicine required for these times and encourage a hurried culture to rise up and rest.